Dear future husband,

How many times have I read that letter? And how many more times have I written you that letter? Trying desperately to sound poetic and piece the words together in such a way that would melt your heart and bring tears to your eyes when you read it. How many times have I written the line I'm waiting for you? But in all of those attempts.. There never seems to be any heart in it. Intention for there to be heart to be in it, yes.. For it to really mean something and really be genuinely my own words with my own promises to you and my own dear thoughts of and for you. But I seem to just put words together. Over and over again. A little differently each time, but essentially reciting myself. The truth is.. I'm afraid to be honest with you. I would love to say to you that I have saved my heart and self for you, and that you, my beloved, are the only one that I have ever given myself to. But I can't.

I am waiting for you. But not in the way that I wish I were.. I have been waiting so impatiently, trying to find you. Thinking, but mostly hoping, that the next guy that falls for me will be you. I open myself up, and give away my heart time after time after time pleading for this one to be you. For this one to be my forever. So far it's been futile. And I'd blame it on naivety. Or possibly a heart that's just so capable of loving, that it too easily finds someone to love. But going back to naivety.. I suppose I thought that if I missed one chance, I'd miss you. That I'd never find you if I was not constantly looking for you.

I'm realizing now that I was sorely mistaken. See, Christ and His bride (the church) are the perfect example to follow. He chased her violently. He did everything within His power to have her. He set His sights towards her, and did not and will not stop fighting for her until she is His and His alone. I know that you are a man after God's own heart, because He has promised me that, and He does not break His promises. Because you are, and I am your bride.. Have I any need to chase you? Absolutely not.

I guess all that to say.. I believe that God can redeem anyone, if they are willing to be changed by Him. There was an analogy that my youth leaders used when I was in junior high about a present. We are the present. Beautifully wrapped for our future spouse. Along the way, my wrapping has gotten torn, stained, crumpled, passed from one person to the next.. But He's starting to re-wrap me. Little by little.

"It's just a little while longer and I'll see you. It's just a little while longer, and I'll know you. It's just a little while longer and we'll be together."

Chase Him first and foremost.. I'll see you soon. :)

(Aimee Felice)